and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

No, really. The pitiful-est. Pitifullest? Anyway. To distract myself from my current state of abject misery, I'm going to keep hunt-and-peck typing this out with my one free hand (the only body part not currently huddled under the giant puffy comforter with the rest of pitiful me).

It's been an interesting few months,( to say the least. )

( The Temeraire books! They're good! )

Last night the boyf found himself really needing to talk about 'us' and our nonconventional relationship. We talked about us, about him, about me, about labels and plans and going off-script. I think I was able to make him feel better, to understand himself better. I showed him my own thought process and viewpoint. Honestly, I'm glad we are the way we are. I don't want 'normal', I don't do well with expectations and assumptions and treating relationships like goals. He's one of my best friends. I'm one of his. (He confessed it was confusing to him that he could talk about me with, well, me! We can communicate - that can't be normal, right? Haha.) I value the trust and acceptance we seem to have developed with each other. So it's different, so it can't be summed up with a word. We have a relationship, and it works for us in this moment.

You have to live the life you have. (Thank you, thefourthvine, for sharing about your son, for giving me such a clearly encapsulated understanding of what I've been feeling. You can't compare your situation to anyone else's, or even to society's expectations. Everyone is different, everyone is dealt different cards. That's life.)

Hard months are hard. Thank heaven for fiction, at least. I think taking a break to see Despicable Me went a long way toward keeping me from exploding, or imploding. It's so fluffy!

And the new Sherlock BBC series! That's really engaging - although I like the direction they've taken, part of me wants an even more alternate take on Holmes canon: why not set it in the future? Why not have Holmes or Watson or Lestrade a different race, or gender? They could have played with the concept even more, I feel, for what's essentially fanfiction on tv. (Will I still be watching it avidly? Oh hells yes. :D )

More piecemeal booklogging:

7. Out by Natsuo Kirino.
( Wow. How to describe Out. I loved it? Dark, violent, gripping and beautiful... )

8. Death By Chick Lit by Lynn Harris.
( Okay, I picked this up because the title made me double-take, but it turned out to be a funny, catty, well done little murder mystery... )

9. Soon I Will Be Invincible by Austin Grossman.
( I do love people running around in spandex and capes... )

10. Pigeons From Hell by Joe Lansdale and Nathan Fox.
( Thoroughly spooky and violent, but artistically quite lovely... )




Previously:

1. Ten Little Indians by Sherman Alexie [5/5]
2. The Summoner by Gail Z. Martin [4.5/5]
3. The Blood King by Gail Z. Martin [4/5]
4. Witch & Wizard by James Patterson and Gabrielle Charbonnet [2/5]
5. Daisy Kutter: The Last Train Job by Kazu Kibuishi [5/5]
6. Box Office Poison by Alex Robinson [4/5]

23, man. 23! I've managed to survive an entire week past my birthday, which, haha, is actually an accomplishment. Let me just say, roadtripping to San Diego/LA was a lot of fun, but became the kind of vacation that is now a cautionary tale for Everyone I Know, Ever. XD

On the one hand, I now know for sure that I'm the person who can hold the fort down when the crazy hits the fan. I've also learned that sometimes you just gotta open your mouth and (gently) let someone know when their idea is a dumb one. Sometimes not following your instincts to avoid hurting someone's feelings or 'causing a problem' gets you driving down the road to Darwin Award territory.

In other news, dementia is morbidly fascinating. Spatial reasoning is shockingly important: who knew?

If I'd remembered to keep track, I probably would have reached the goal number the last time around. Oh well. Time for a restart. :)

Let's see now. New time period: from the last week of December 2009 to the last week of December 2010, since I'm including books read in the last month. Goal: 50 books. Children's books will count as 1/2 a book, rereads as a full book unless I change my mind.

1. Ten Little Indians by Sherman Alexie: These are stories about love, loss, sacrifice, and what shapes us, whether it's basketball, the love for the written word, or infidelity. Mostly happening in and around Seattle, the main characters are Indian, primarily from the Spokane tribe - which makes sense, since Alexie himself is Spokane. I really enjoyed this short story collection; the characters are varied and thoroughly fleshed-out. 5 out of 5.

2. The Summoner by Gail Z. Martin: First in a fantasy trilogy called Chronicles of the Necromancer, the story introduces a nicely built fantasy world of magic, goddesses, and ghosts. While 'a prince on the run and a ragtag group he finds along the way must stop an evil power from taking over their world' is not anything new, the characters are interesting, gender-varied and believable, and I like the system of magic and politics between the various countries. 4 and 1/2 out of 5.

3. The Blood King by Gail Z. Martin: Second in the trilogy. The drama and anticipation built up nicely, but I thought the conclusion itself was kind of abrupt. We'll see if the third book picks up speed or meanders... Even with the pacing, I enjoyed the story and new plot entanglements. 4 out of 5.

4. Witch & Wizard by James Patterson (and in small print Gabrielle Charbonnet): This was a christmas gift from a friend, sweet but misguided. I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone else. It seems to be trying to appeal to YA and fantasy readers, but the language and style isn't really coherent. There are randomly invented slang words, abrupt violence mixed with childish language, and no real depth to the story or characters. It feels deliberately dumbed down to create a (false) sense of mystery: if I had to describe it with one phrase, I'd say it was ham-handed. Honestly, there's a distinct difference between a story for young adults and a story that hasn't been written well. 2 out of 5.

Testing... testing... 123.

This is mostly a post for testing purposes; I am trying out the new lj offshoot Dreamwidth and their lovely cross-posting setup. I'm also e_t_a on dreamwidth, though since I'm setting this up to crosspost, it's not like I'm disappearing.

Testing complete.

Two Countries
by Naomi Shihab Nye

Skin remembers how long the years grow
when skin is not touched, a gray tunnel
of singleness, feather lost from the tail
of a bird, swirling onto a step,
swept away by someone who never saw
it was a feather. [...]

Read it on greatpoets here.

We lost my grandfather, my Papa, one week and four days ago. We held his memorial the day after my portfolio review, and the day before my graduation ceremony. I am... very tired.

Hahaha, okay, so I just discovered BBC's new show "Merlin" ( (which is completely adorable in its own right --  )

In other news, Dexter continues to satisfy. I just love where they're going this season.

Ack ,a few more books to remember to post to 50 Books: Rewind, Persepolis (1 and 2), Armageddon In Retrospect, and Heart, You Bully, You Punk.